Baby Blues.

The baby blues are a real thing and no joke. They also appear out of no where. I have felt pretty good for the first couple days home, enjoying every moment with our precious little baby. <3 I love looking in the mirror and seeing my stomach go down to almost nothing! Thanks, breastfeeding! haha but then, out of no where, I was looking in the mirror and the tears came. I missed so heartbreakingly bad my pregnant belly and my baby in my belly. I wanted it back. It was a horrible ache in my heart how much I missed it. I would look at Ben and just cry that he was here and not still inside me. I love him and I am happy he is here but it was such a strong emotion I was feeling that all I would do is cry. 
It was the worst at night, I would cry in the shower and while nursing him before bed. I felt like this feeling and longing and pain would never go away. But, one day, about 2 weeks later (which, I believe they say is about how long normal "Baby Blues" lasts for), I woke up, and I was okay. I felt happy and fell in love with my baby. 

 I knew ahead of time though, that this usually happens and to be aware that it can turn into Postpartum depression. So, I knew to talk to Eric, let him know how I was feeling and talk through it all. I knew that sometimes, people don't know when/if someone has ppd and it can escalate to horrible outcomes. Now, I am pretty sure no one really reads this blog...but if you do, and you know someone who just had a baby or is soon to have one, or had one within the past year, because postpartum depression can hit anytime really within the first year, please, keep a watchful eye on them, talk to them, ask how they feel and if anything seems out of the ordinary do not just chalk it up to "she's tired, she just had a baby, things are stressful with a new baby, this will pass"... it may not. or it may.

Women need a great support team during and after pregnancy. I am very lucky that I have Eric, my whole family, and Eric's family to talk to and who support us. It was a very hard time when it hit me, but I knew I had to take control or the baby blues could turn into something worse.