Weekend Trip to Cape May!

Hello September! I can't believe that Ben will be 2 months old in just a couple days! Time really does fly!!

The beach trip was awesome, well, at least it was once we arrived! It was a 5 hour drive for us due to traffic and 1 stop. Ben did great! Except for when we were in bumper to bumper traffic of 76 and he woke up hungry and angry!! I felt so bad! There was no where to pull off safely and we weren't really moving so Eric leaned over his seat to feed Ben in his car seat. Things were much better after that! haha

Friday night we relaxed for a little and chatted with my Aunt and Uncle before bed. Ben slept SO good! I felt refreshed in the morning! haha We went to breakfast then had to get Eric a new swimsuit because we forgot his...oops! 2 hours later...we found one! We were in a BEACH TOWN and could NOT find a dang swimsuit! Granted, it was end of August haha but after 5 stores, we found one! We decided for the first day to put the baby in his stroller with his swim trunks, onesie, and hat on and put him under the umbrellas. He did great! Slept the whole time and woke up to eat once and his skin was cool to the touch! We only spent 4.5 hours at the beach, perfect amount of time. We took some pictures by the cape may row boat and the water. It was nice! Went out for dinner and did a little shopping. Repeat for Sunday and Monday haha. We left NJ around 6 on Monday and got home by midnight. We spent about an hour in Allentown to feed the baby and what not. He was perfect the whole car ride!

I am really glad we went. I was very nervous but Ben did great! Got a little fussy at the Bay on Monday but we were only out for 2 hours. It was nice spending time with my family since we live 4 hours from them, I like to see them when I can! I am so excited to take him next year when he can walk (hopefully!) and play in the water! We will be at the beach in February but he will only be 7 months then.

A few pictures from our trip!

Ben Meets the Family!

So last weekend was the annual Tomcho Pig Roast. My mother's side of the family goes to my Uncle's every year and he does a big pig roast, we all get together, hang out, drink, laugh, play volleyball, catch up, and relax. I look forward to it every year and I was so excited Ben was here for this one! He finally got to meet the rest of his Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins from my moms side of the family that weren't able to come to my parents party earlier in July.

We had a lot of fun and a little "us" time to enjoy a drink or two while everyone else gushed over the baby! haha it was nice to say "okay, I am going to have 2 drinks today and I won't feel guily about it!" I am not a big drinker to begin with but sometimes I like to relax and enjoy and cocktail but if I had a beer while at dinner since Ben has arrived I struggled with feeling guilty about it.

I always have so much fun when I get to spend time with my cousins, especially Carrie! She is so funny! Eric loves her, also. I am so glad my whole family loves Eric! He has fit right in since the beginning!  I think Ben enjoyed himself, also. He was such a good boy (no surprise there!) and did so well with his first sleep away from home! He actually slept better and longer! haha. little stinker!

This weekend we will be going to Cape May with my Uncle Matt, Aunt Cathy, and cousin Emily. They are the ones who host the pig roast each year. I am so excited for Ben's first trip to the beach but anxious about keeping him from getting too much sun! He will only be 5 weeks old and he can't have sun block yet. I am sure it will be fine though!

Things have been flowly smoothly here, which is good. Buddy isn't pooping everyday and I am trying not to worry about it too much! We will see how that goes! That is all for now.. I have tons of laundry to do and packing before we leave tomorrow! this is a rambling post and doesn't have any form to it. haha Oh, well!!!

Just a Few Thoughts...

I find myself wondering if I am obsessing over my baby too much and not paying enough attention to Eric. First, is it possible to obsess too much over your child, especially if nothing is wrong? I don't think so. He is perfect. I love interacting with him and making him smile.

Second, Eric is an amazing father and partner. Through all my tiredness, irritability, and general craziness of life right now I never forget to stop and notice him. I see how tired he is, how hard he works, how much love he has for Ben and me, how incredibly sexy he is, how he snores SO loud, how he gets up in the middle of the night to get the baby when he starts fussing so I don't wake up, but I do. I notice that and I smile every time and fall back to sleep. I am truly blessed.

Eric deserves everything he could possibly want and more and sometimes I think that it might be just more attention from me. We talk all the time throughout the day and night but sometimes I find that we talk about the baby...and not us. I feel bad and this is all an adjustment and I know we will fall into a better routine. Things are great though, I just need to show him more how much I care and notice him. 

I am madly in love with my little family and who I am. After years of struggling with my body, my future, and relationships I feel I am finally where I am meant to be and who I am meant to be. I am a fearless and fearful mother learning her new job in life and the most important one at that. I love my new body and embrace it everyday! Stretch marks and touching thighs and all! I am a best friend, partner, lover, supporter, and biggest fan to the one person on this earth I know I am meant to be with. 

I know I sometimes Eric may not get all the attention he deserves or the kind he is needing at that moment in time, but I will never forget to stop and tell him and show him how much I love, appreciate, adore, need, and care for him. 

The Past Month!

Life with a 1 month old is...pretty awesome. We have ourselves a happy, healthy, adorably beautiful baby boy who has brought so much joy to so many people in such a small amount of time...and boy, the time has gone by SO fast!! it feels like just yesterday we were bringing him home! 

We have adjusted well and have fallen into a decent routine. Eric and I both get around 5-7 hours of sleep a night. Awesome! I have to supplement with formula right now since my supply isn't quite enough, but I am hoping that changes soon! Lots of pumping and eating oatmeal. 

Ben is such a joy to have. We have lots of cuddle time and bonding time. I fall more in love with this little guy every day. 

At his first check-up, he was a little underweight so the Dr. wanted him to be back up to atleast his birth weight by his 2 week appointment. I worried a lot between those appointments but when we went back he was above his birth weight! I was so happy! I couldn't stop smiling and felt so relieved! As a first time mom, I worry! I try to keep my worrying to a "normal" amount, but what is normal? Eric is much more relaxed than I am, which works good. He brings me back down. We make an awesome team. 

My parents had a big summer party and Ben got to meet his Great pop-pop, and great aunt and uncle. It was awesome! We are going to my aunt and uncle's house this coming weekend for the annual pig roast and he will get to meet all his cousins and 2nd..and 3rd cousins haha and more aunts and uncles! I am so excited!!! It will be his first long car trip..about 3.5 hours and his first time sleeping somewhere other than home so I am hoping he does good!

My parents and Eric's parents are just loving him so much!! Eric's parents see more of him than mine though, since we live about 45 minutes from mine and 15 from his. But we try to make it as even as possible. 

We haven't taken him anywhere really, yet. Just to see family. We did get to go out without baby, though for a few hours. I did really well! It was the ride home that felt the longest!! We just went to the mall and did a little in between sizes shopping... I was tired of wearing maternity clothes that were too big and my pre-pregnancy clothes are just a tad too small still. It has been awesome seeing my body transformation this past 4 weeks. I am 7 lbs. shy of my pre-pregnancy weight!! Awesome! i also have never felt...sexier, more confident about my body. Pregnancy and labor and delivery really do well for my self-esteem. We were gone for about 3 hours, it was a nice break and I feel like we needed that time away. It is true, time away makes you better parents. you take a step back, clear your head for a bit, and it makes you miss your baby more. I suggest it to every parent...but when you are ready. Ours was a whim, family friends were visiting from Canada and wanted to go to the mall, so we decided to tag along. It was nice. I am glad we did it. We also leave him for about 2 hours while we go grocery shopping so he isn't exposed to too many germs and people at wal-mart and target. We did also stop at Red Robin for dinner which was nice, and on Monday Eric and I went to the mall so I could get my hair done, finally!!! And went to applebee's for dinner. Eric wanted to treat me to a relaxing night. He sure is special! It was a great outing.

That's all for now... this was a bit rambly..Sorry

Feeling Lost...

My best friend of 15 years moved with her husband today and I feel lost. They only moved to North Carolina which is only a 9 hour drive! haha but she is my best friend who I saw all the time. It is a weird feeling, losing someone so close to you but they aren't gone forever. I am so happy for them, though. They are finally starting their new life together and they are excited and scared at the same time. They will be fine.

I just wish she could be here to watch Ben grow up. I know there is skype and visits but it isn't the same! I am praying for a safe trip to their new home and wish them nothing but luck and love! Life is certainly changing! We are no longer kids or teenagers or girls going to the bar every night to dance. I know we will always be close. We don't tend to give up on each other!

Baby Blues.

The baby blues are a real thing and no joke. They also appear out of no where. I have felt pretty good for the first couple days home, enjoying every moment with our precious little baby. <3 I love looking in the mirror and seeing my stomach go down to almost nothing! Thanks, breastfeeding! haha but then, out of no where, I was looking in the mirror and the tears came. I missed so heartbreakingly bad my pregnant belly and my baby in my belly. I wanted it back. It was a horrible ache in my heart how much I missed it. I would look at Ben and just cry that he was here and not still inside me. I love him and I am happy he is here but it was such a strong emotion I was feeling that all I would do is cry. 
It was the worst at night, I would cry in the shower and while nursing him before bed. I felt like this feeling and longing and pain would never go away. But, one day, about 2 weeks later (which, I believe they say is about how long normal "Baby Blues" lasts for), I woke up, and I was okay. I felt happy and fell in love with my baby. 

 I knew ahead of time though, that this usually happens and to be aware that it can turn into Postpartum depression. So, I knew to talk to Eric, let him know how I was feeling and talk through it all. I knew that sometimes, people don't know when/if someone has ppd and it can escalate to horrible outcomes. Now, I am pretty sure no one really reads this blog...but if you do, and you know someone who just had a baby or is soon to have one, or had one within the past year, because postpartum depression can hit anytime really within the first year, please, keep a watchful eye on them, talk to them, ask how they feel and if anything seems out of the ordinary do not just chalk it up to "she's tired, she just had a baby, things are stressful with a new baby, this will pass"... it may not. or it may.

Women need a great support team during and after pregnancy. I am very lucky that I have Eric, my whole family, and Eric's family to talk to and who support us. It was a very hard time when it hit me, but I knew I had to take control or the baby blues could turn into something worse.